


Desperate Measures

by churb



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, I don't know what I'm doing, Rope Bondage, What am I doing, help me, roleplaying, rose's room being used for UNINTENDED PURPOSES, set during story for steven verse so, smol greg, technically it's ribbon bondage i guess, uh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-21
Updated: 2015-06-21
Packaged: 2018-04-05 10:37:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4176696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/churb/pseuds/churb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"See, this is your problem, Greg. You want one huge woman when you could have two smaller ones."</p><p>A fitting alternate title would probably be something like "BDSM Going Horribly Wrong Starring Your Hosts The Quartz-Universes".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Desperate Measures

**Author's Note:**

> lord asriel voice
> 
> i stared into the abyss. the abyss stared back. this was the ending i had dreamed of.
> 
> (didn't story for steven say something about greg having a thing for large alien women or was that just me)

This was  _weird_.  
  
He's not usually very good with words or the application of such. Lyrics came a little more naturally, but talking was something he found difficult in general (or maybe that was social situations. The two generally went together) and obviously he couldn't just go around speaking in rhyme all the time because that would also be pretty fucking weird but wait maybe he's overthinking this.  
  
The hallway keeps repeating itself; it's dimly lit and and grey and it looks like he's walking through a cross between a prison and a giant air vent and while he'd usually consider it a no brainer if it looked kinda samey there are windows in the sides and he's seen the same pair of Gems having a conversation about....five times now.   
  
He decides it's not a good time to bring it up.  
  
His wrists are tied behind his back; it feels like some kind of ribbon as opposed to anything else that would be any more uncomfortable and he vaguely wonders how the hell they're going to get this weird jumpsuit thing off him if his hands are tied (literally hahahaha okay shut) but he decides it's not a good time to bring that up either. He doesn't really feel like talking. He feels really, really weird.  
  
It's a good way to put it. A better but more blunt (awkward?) way to put it would be "somewhere between terrified and aroused".  
  
He sees the Gems having a conversation again and tries to see if he can make out what they're saying. Their lip movements are weird and unintelligible. He wonders if Gems have a different language.  
  
The door's pushed open and the Gem guiding him through the endless hallways (Craig McCracken, eat your heart out) gently shoves him in a small room before locking the door behind him, and Greg just sort of. Sits himself down on a chair. Good to know they have chairs in space. It's kind of higher than he's accustomed to and he ends up being just too short for his feet to reach the floor. Fucking Gems being all tall and shit. It kind of makes him uncomfortable.  
  
Especially Pearl. He'd really like to be taller than Pearl. Okay he's not going to think about Pearl right now.  
  
The Gem apparently doesn't object to him sitting down and goes to sit down in the other chair herself. It almost seems a bit small for her, but she's not bothered.She leans forward, pink curls go everywhere, and Greg does his best to stare at her face because right now he's got a damn good view of down her shirt. Is this some kind of uniform? It's pink and it's got a black collar with a sort of weird plastic tie in the shape of a diamond. It's bright yellow, the same yellow as the prison jumpsuit thing he's wearing. It also has a black collar and it doesn't quite look as sexy.  
  
His efforts at maintaining eye contact are valiant and noble and doomed to failure.  
  
"What do you know about the rebellion forces on Earth."

Greg's head jerks back up.  
  
"Erm."  
  
There's no response. She simply raises her eyebrow and Greg attempts to articulate his thoughts more clearly. "Uh. Sorry. What?"  
  
Rose rolls her eyes.  
  
"What do you know about the rebellion forces on Earth?" Is that a giggle? He thinks it's a giggle. The corner of her mouth twitches and she turns away for a moment.  
  
"Don't...Don't laugh at me!" It comes out like a small squeak and Rose giggles some more.   
  
"I can't help it! The look on your face is just so funny!" She makes odd little noises for a moment before clearing her throat. "Ahem. I mean. It's...not in your interest to speak to me like that!"  
  
And there she goes. This is funny, apparently. Greg just sits and stares at her until she's calmed down, swallowing a little. This is  _ridiculous_. The only thing really keeping the mood is the fact that his hands are still tied. Even that's gonna get awkward soon.  
  
Rose clears her throat, calms down. "Okay. Alright. I'm going to be...assertive. I'm assertive." She does some sort of weird swishy thing with her hands which he can only assume indicates calm and then proceeds to bang her hands loudly on the table.  
  
Greg makes some sort of surprised yelping noise.  
  
"I know you're allied with Gem forces on Earth! They must have told you  _something_ about their strategies!" She's standing, now, and he swallows, leaning back a bit in his chair and trying his hardest to work out how to play along. His thing is singing. He can act a little but it was only a few classes in anticipation for doing talk shows or toothpaste commercials.  
  
"Um. Not really. They don't tell me anything."  
  
She's sort of perched on the edge of the table now, she'd walked around amidst his stuttering, and she crosses her legs and stares intently at him. "Didn't you get close to any of them?"  
  
Fuck off Rose.  
  
"Well, yes, but not with Gem stuff! They don't tell me anything about that! They think I'm stupid!" He thinks he sees her face fall a little, but it's quickly rectified, and she slides off the table, effortlessly ending up on his left, and grabs him by the collar of his jumpsuit thing, pulling him up.  
  
 "Really?" There's another giggle there. It's not awkward; it's sort of flirtatious. He swallows a bit. "I'd guess you were quite smart." 

 _Shit_.  
  
He doesn't really have time to ponder this (ew, no, wrong word, not now) because now his jumpsuit is on the floor. His hands are tied. She just sort of unzipped it and it fell off. Greg stares at it incredulously.

"Uh."  
  
The room flickers for a moment and Rose over exaggeratedly mouths "shit" to herself before regaining her concentration and shoving him forward so he's awkwardly leant on the desk. The desk is also fairly high; he's in an awkward position where he's practically draped over it, save the valiant effort for his left leg to actually reach the god damn floor.  
  
He lets out a small nervous giggle into the table.  
  
There's a hand on his back now, and he attempts to look up at her but he can't really see anything in this position, and the weird twisting feeling in his stomach's coming back. It's kind of like being turned on but he's also scared for his life.  
  
"And nobody told you their plans?"  
  
"Ugh, no. I just  _said_ that." He wonders what turning up the sass would get him and the answer is something hitting the back of his leg really hard. It doesn't feel like a hand, it's too sturdy, and he makes some kind of choking noise into the table.  
  
This is incredibly embarrassing. He's too self aware. He decides to give up on wriggling himself down enough to reach the floor and he would bury his face in his arms but sadly.   
  
"Nothing?"  
  
"No!"  
  
_Shit_. Woman's got a strong arm. He sort of feels like warning her that he is in fact human and she might break a bone if she doesn't tone it down because the last thing he wants to do is have to explain to Amethyst that yes, it is indeed possible to break your butt.  
  
Is it? Fuck. He doesn't know. Why the hell is he thinking about Amethyst. He promptly decides that the school counselor who told him he didn't have ADHD was a god damn liar. Literally anyone else would be concentrating very intently right now.  
  
_Ow_.  
  
"Are you listening to me?" Is she laughing at him again? Her voice kind of went weird but he can't see because of the fucking table. That was meant as an expletive but he supposes it's a pretty apt description.  
  
"Uh. I got up to "nothing"."  
  
She hits him again and he makes a little noise in protest. He shuffles a bit because it's not quite as awkward any more. He's kind of actually getting into this.  
  
_Ow_   god  _damn_ it Rose. He thanks whatever beings may be up there that she is not a violent person because he would not want to be the poor soul that got on the wrong side of Rose Quartz when she was  _trying_ to hurt them.  
  
She's getting kind of excited now; the blows have become rapid fire and sort of just anywhere around the general area she can think of. He's sort of pushed into the table a little more and  _okay_ that did not need to happen shit there are better things he can do with his time then rut into fucking tables.  
  
That was also meant to be an expletive. He wonders if the joke works twice.  
  
She pulls him back, then. Just sort of slides her hand between him and the table and jerks him up by the shoulder. His feet hit the floor and he stumbles a bit, trying desperately to keep his legs as together as possible, but she holds him up, the other hand moving to cup his chin with a finger.  
  
"Is there anything I could do to convince you?"  
  
He doesn't want to laugh but it's the corniest line he's ever heard from an actual person and if this was some weird porn film 20 years down the line this shit would be comparable to that one video with the lemons which Greg is currently unaware of because it does not yet exist.  
  
He lets out some kind of snrk noise.  
  
"What's so funny?" Rose blinks down at him and Greg shakes his head and reminds himself this is not supposed to be a humourous experience but oh  _lord_.  
  
"I...nothing. It's nothing."  
  
Her hand goes back to his face. "Good."  
  
Is she going to kiss him? It seems likely enough. He moves forward a little, just enough for a kiss to be possible, but instead she steps to the side and shoves him over the table again and before he can do anything there's a hand on his back.  
  
He stumbles a little, wincing because table rims colliding with your stomach is not sexy or fun. "Ow."  
  
She leans down a little; at least, he thinks so, because her hair moves and he feels like her mouth is right next to his ear. "Tell me everything you know."  
  
He's pretty sure she's moving his legs apart, just sort of tugging at his thighs and she takes this opportunity to hit him again and he lets out some sort of breathy noise.  
  
"I told you. I don't know anything."  
  
It would occur to Greg Universe approximately ninety seconds later, once some more back and forth questioning had been completed along with the necessary precautions for said activities that there really, really isn't any sound logic in applying the gender binary to aliens.  
  
Or, well. She shapeshifts, he supposes, so really she can just sort of be anything she wants. Which must be convenient and goes with this exercise swimmingly because that is very definitely not a strapon.  
  
He'd really like to dig his fingers into something but tables don't have sheets and his arms can't move.  
  
This is different.   
   
Greg is by no means a virgin. He might have been short and chubby and heterosexuality did not shine too well on boys with long hair who played the guitar instead of football (ah, masculinity) but by the time he was in high school his career was sort of taking off very very slowly, slowly enough for most of the school to know of him but not really anyone else, and the reputation as a rock legend in the 90s did land one quite the number of one night stands.   
  
This, however, is absolutely nothing like any of that at all.  
  
She's saying something to him, he can't really figure out what, but it feels like she's still questioning him, and he tries to answer them to the best of his ability, but it's getting very, very hard to concentrate. His hands are still bound and that really doesn't help, he supposes it kind of does in the sense that it's kind of a turn on to begin with but this is not a situation where he wants to last nine seconds.  
  
He's doing pretty well, he personally thinks. She's got a hand on his hips as if that somehow helps her aim and he's not sure where the other hand is. Maybe it's on the table. He decides not to dwell on this. Rose kisses his neck a little and keeps going.  
  
Man. He's fairly sure there are a lot of guys on this planet with a thing for getting (for lack of better words) dominated by intimidating tall alien babes but here it occurs to him that he's probably the only person that such things actually happen to. Holy  _shit_ is he glad he threw Marty out of his van.  
  
She hits something and he lets out a noise, clenches his fists a little, and maybe he made it obvious but she hits it a few more times and his legs would probably give way if they'd been on the floor to begin with.  
  
Fuck. He's going to die. He would say some sort of line about seeing stars but that sound appallingly gimmicky without his whole thing being space and being that his whole thing  _is_ space it just sounds like an appalling pun. He shouts and everything just kind of goes blurry for a moment and Rose, apparently oblivious to this, keeps going. He's not sure if that's a blessing or a curse.   
  
When he comes back to himself the table is gone. It takes him a moment to work out that now he's on a bed, and Rose is there in her same old dress and he wiggles a bit, attempting to sit up. He hears an "Oh, sorry." from behind him and then his hands are freed and he's pulled backwards into a gentle hug. Her lips meet his forehead and he just kind of stares blankly at her until she speaks.  
  
"Was that okay?"  
  
Greg just sort of stares back because he feels very heady right now and all he can manage is a quiet, slightly slurred "Fuck."

Rose blinks at him. "Oh, yes. We did. If that's how that usually works on your planet. I mean, I guess I'd assumed that this was a...unique experience."  
  
Fidget. "Oh, well. Yeah. Um. No, I mean. It." Why do words have to fail him now. "It went fine. I just."  
  
"You just...?"  
  
"...I just don't know how that was possible!" He has just enough energy for a small hand gesture. "This room, I mean. How does it do that!"

Rose shrugs. "Oh, well. It's simple gem technology! Don't they have anything like that here?"  
  
He says "Not really, no." as he squirms a little more, settling back against her, and it sounds slightly resigned. He feels like lying on his side is a better idea than sitting, right now. "I guess we're kinda primitive in comparison."  
  
"A little." Rose admits, and a hand goes through Greg's hair and it feels nice, truthfully. "But I find it adorable.  
  
"Yeah. I'd noticed."  
  
Rose gets up eventually to find him some pyjamas that wouldn't disappear on impact, and Greg just settles himself down on the weird thought bed and just looks around in the fog for a while before burrowing into the blankets that are suddenly there for some reason. Rose must have thought them up just for him. Cute. But right now he's too exhausted to really care.  
  
....Wait, shit.  
  
When Rose gets back he needs to ask if this room is soundproof.

**Author's Note:**

> i would like to take the opportunity to apologise for this
> 
> very slowly walks backwards into hell


End file.
